Even Pigs get Seasonal Affective Disorder

Hi:

It's Grover. Listen, Piggy says, "Screw this cold weather! Stick a fork in me, I'm pork loin!"

I say, "Let's eat!"

Love,

Grover

Not that I feel the need to defend myself, but...

Hi:

It's Grover.

Listen, here is me when I was a baby. My mom thinks I was about 4 months old here but she's not sure. Gee, that's typical...I bet she remembers every single time Piggy ever took a poop or did something funny in his entire life but me, no, for me she's all 'WhatEVER!'

Anyway, not that I feel the need to defend myself about who is cuter than whom and all, but...well, just look at the above.

'Nuff said.

Love,

Grover

Glass houses and all...

Hi:

It's me, Piggy.

OK. So, Grover is always on here talking smack about me and how weird I am and how I smell like a potato-mushroom casserole and how I TRY to act cute when, in reality, I really AM cute, so how can I TRY to be something I already AM? Duh!

I would like you to look at the above mobile phone photo. Do you see anything odd? Do you see fur that looks like fluff and then fur that looks like waves? On the same body? You do? Yes, me, too.

Do you know what that is in the photo? It's Grover. A Devon Rex. A MUTANT DEVON REX!

Two kinds of fur on one cat? Fluff and waves? That sounds like the name of a bad college band. I mean, if you're going to have fur, make a decision on which kind you want and stick to it. OK?

You can't tell from this photo, but he also has a lot bald patches; which seems mighty suspicious to me when he makes fun of me for being naked. One might think that Grover is trying to look like me. One might even venture into the arena of possibility that Grover wants to BE me!

This should not be surprising to anyone. I'm pink. I'm cute. I'm bald. I have a tantalizing aroma. And I am the King of Gallumping. Also, I get to eat a lot more wet food than he does. Ha ha, Grover!

And now, off to sit in front of the radiator and lick Grover's bald neck. He's very tasty.

Love,

Piggy

P.S. My mom wants me to clarify that Grover is not going bald suddenly, he has always been patchy since he was a baby! See? MUTANT!

I won't. I just will NOT tolerate this!

Hi:

It's Grover.

Listen, please, someone come spare me from my fate!

Piggy is trying to be super extra special cute these days and I absolutely cannot stand it.

I mean, really, what is he doing in this picture, pretending he's all dreamy and with his eyes gazing heaven-ward? And that paw draped over my mom's arm. Bitch, please!

Obviously, my mom is eating it up as if he were bacon dipped in chocolate.

What's that the kids are saying these days? Oh yeah, FML.

Love,

Grover

In Which Piggy Swoons...

Rhett... if you go, where shall I go, what shall I do????

BFFs til the end...and maybe still...

This is a picture of Vito on his last day alive, the same day I realized that Piggy has freakishly long legs.

Sigh...

On The Menu

Pink. Curled. Good with garlic and oil.

Hi:

It's Grover.

Listen, today Piggy is doing his impersonation of a shrimp. The other day it was a chicken.

What's next? A Pig?

Snort.

Love,

Grover

P.S. Piggy doesn't even have enough social graces to try and cover his bits. What a pig.

Gross Encounters of the Third Kind

Mobile phone pic because this abomination of feline would have cracked the real camera's lens with his freakishness.

Hi:

It's Grover.

Listen. Look at that. Are you even beginning to understand what I have to put up with for the 'pleasure' of living in this apartment? I mean, can you at least be open to the possibility that the thing you see pictured above is not really one of our species but is, instead, some sort of half-baked cretin from another realm who has brain-washed my mom into thinking he's some sort of CAT?!

Why am I the ONLY one who seems even the merest bit concerned about this?!

HelloooOOoooo? Is there anybody out there?!?!?

Fine.

But don't say I didn't warn you.

Love,

Grover

I Think Not

Another shot from when Vito was rescued. He looks so big here, but he wasn't...it also looks like he has a short tail, but he didn't.

Hi:

It's Grover.

Listen, I don't think it's fair that I get one spoonful of wet food and Piggy gets nearly a whole can. This line of thinking is wrong on many levels and I want it to cease. Immediately.

This morning, I ate my one paltry spoon of wet food and then I marched right over to Piggy's bowl and began eating his, too. He shares, you know, now that he's no longer a Big Fat Pig and knows I can kick his ass if I see fit.

So, we're there together, and I'm eating ONLY what SHOULD RIGHTFULLY be MY portion of his extra-super-big portion (and I eat like a gentleman, too, by the way), but I got yelled at anyway!

My mom said, "Grover! Let Piggy eat his food!"

Excuse me? HIS food?

In my humble opinion, if I get one spoon of food from a can, and Piggy gets the rest of the can, then someone's concept of us 'sharing' a can of cat food is way, way off.

I think you need to know what is going on over here because there may be ramifications and I don't want you to think that any of this is MY fault. Please be aware of how I'm being tortured by my mom, OK?

Harrumph.

Love,

Grover

P.S. Yes, I KNOW I have a big bowl of dry food sitting right there, and I KNOW I get a bowl of yogurt every day, too, but it is NOT THE SAME AS THE STINKY STUFF THAT COMES OUT OF THE CAN! I WANT MY FAIR SHARE!

P.P.S. That woman I live with better watch it before I start crapping under the armoire again. Just sayin'...

Just A Silly Thyroid Issue

This is a picture of Vito that his rescue angel took and sent to us when he was found and they brought him to a pet store and called him "George".

Hi:

It's Grover. Listen, Piggy, as always, has blood results that aren't normal, but he's always that way and, like his vet says, "That's just the Pig!"...so, the only part we're going to pay attention to is that Piggy has an easily-dealt-with thyroid issue! No biggie said the Piggy. So now he'll be on more meds 2 times a day (on top of the meds he already takes 2 times a day for IBD and his heart) and that will be that.

The vet suggested a $1,900 iodine treatment that would cure the hyperthyroidism, but we're still paying off Vito's vet bills so, for now, that will have to wait. More so, considering the IBD seems to be advancing AND he's got a wonky heart, my mom doesn't think it's fair to Piggy to stick him in isolation for ten days while the iodine does its thing, etc., etc. He HATES being out of his house and gets traumatized each time he has to go to the vet...so, we'll think about this 'cure' at a later date.

He will start his meds today and he goes back to the vet in two weeks for more bloodwork to make sure the meds are doing their thing. And he goes to his cardiologist in two weeks, too, because the hyperthyroidism apparently can affect the heart as well.

Last night, a heat pipe burst in the apartment above ours and water cascaded down our living room walls and it was 110 degrees in the apartment and me and Piggy loved it! Our very own sauna! We drank some water from the floor but the maintenance people came and vacuumed it all up and stuff so then we had to drink water from our bowls and the bottom of the tub as per usual. Harrumph. Piggy tried to drink from the toilet because mom left the lid up and he got yelled at.

Ha ha, Piggy! Mom must not be so worried about your health right now because you are getting yelled at again! Sucker!

Love,

Grover