Friday, February 27, 2009

Me, Too!


It's Piggy. Listen, I take sun baths and my mom always has her camera in my face and I'm a handsome bastard, too! Not just Grover!

And...I'm P I N K!



P.S. Hi. It's Grover. Listen, pink shmink. I'd call it salmon. And what the eff is up with his ears? Luv, Grover

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Geezus Louiseus!


It's Grover. Listen. Can't a person take a sun bath without having a camera stuck in their face? Can't a person just try and RELAX a little, do a little grooming, dream a little daydream, purr a little tune, without having a big, stupid LENS all AIMED at them, trying to catch some unspecified special MOMENT, something CUTE or PRETTY, something to REMEMBER me by when I kick the bucket? Geez. Just get AWAY from me already, OK?




P.S. Damn, I am a handsome bastard.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The Power of Love


It's Grover. Listen, I know Piggy and I can be really snarky to one another sometimes and he gallumps on me and I bite his neck and all of that, but the truth is we DO love one another.

A lot.

As proof, just look at Pig's feet.

The fact that I even still LOOK at him when he's got feet with little pointy weird appendages on them and (though you can't tell in this picture) big PADS on the bottom, like he's standing on round wads of ABC bubble gum (ABC = already-been-chewed); the fact that he has feet like THAT and I still even TALK about him, let alone TOUCH him should be proof positive of the power of love.

That's all I'm sayin'.



P.S. Hi. It's Piggy. Listen. I have cute feet. Ask my mom. Luv, Piggy

P.P.S. Hi. It's Grover. Further proof of what I just said, feet only a mother could love. Luv, Grover

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Maybe It's Raspberry Juice?


It's Piggy. Listen, we don't know why there was blood on the floor last night. We do not know who it came from. We do not want our mom to keep searching us all over and poking and prodding and checking our butts and searching through our poops and such to find out where said blood came from. We don't know. OK? So stop it.

I have to admit I was the one who puked 3 times last night because my mom saw me do it. I wanted to eat it one of the times because my food wasn't even digested but my mom wiped it up too quickly. Harrumph.



P.S. Hi. It's Grover. Piggy is nasty. Luv, Grover

We are both so very excited and thankful to read that The Creek Cats gave us this award yesterday. Gosh, it's so hard to pick just a few blogs to pass this on to today - we love you ALL and don't want anyone to feel left out - so we're thinking we're going to have to start giving out awards all the time, too, to thank you all for the joy and laughs you give us! So for today we're going to pass this cute award on to The Meezers; Shana The Dash Mouth; Jeter Harris; Marley, Reggie and Me; Cliff & Olivia; and Kitty Limericks.

Thank you!

Monday, February 16, 2009

A Calm Afternoon, I Hope


It's Grover. Listen, our mom is obsessively weighing us and it's very annoying. I mean, the vet told her to weigh Pig every day at the same time and keep track, but he didn't say to weigh ME and I find it very insulting to have to sit there in her arms while she comments on how much I weigh. Please. Spare me.

In other news, today I decided to put all our toys in one spot because Piggy had made a mess and they were strewn all over the house.

Speaking of Piggy, he's sleeping in the bedroom under his special blue blanket. Note to mom: excuse me, where is the Grover special blanket, may I ask. Yeah, exactly. He played with one of the catnip socks our mom makes for us and he licked it and licked it and it is disgusting and soggy now and, of course, he over-indulged so now he will sleep it off the rest of the afternoon.

This is good because that means he will stop bothering me the rest of the afternoon.

Now if only mom would lick the catnip sock, maybe she'd stop bothering me, too.




Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Baby's Got Back


It's Piggy. Listen, I know this falls under the heading "too much information" but I thought I would tell you guys anyway.

I had two normal poops.

My mom was very excited by this (how nasty is that?) and thinks the change of food is helping.

I still seem to be rapidly losing weight. Good thing I am very big boned and I do not look at all skinny. I have lost half of Grover's body weight - 3 pounds. Grover is such a show-off about how tiny and delicate he is, what a little cute thing and just so wee. Phooey. Mom doesn't help matters because she's always talking about it, too. Like, I've heard her on the phone discussing the fact that I weigh three times what Grover weighs.




P.S. Hi. It's Grover. Listen, I do not think Pig has lost any weight because when he gallumps on me he still nearly crushes me. I'm lucky I am wiry and can wiggle out from under him and do my vampire grip on his neck to subdue him. I have great powers of subdue-ism. And I leave bite marks, too. So there.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Grover, Party of One


It's Grover. Listen, finally I feel I have been shown the type of deference that the stinky pinky (i.e. Piggy) has been shown of late.

My water glass (I do not like to drink from a bowl, so I have a water glass, thank you very much. I used to like to drink from the bathroom sink but my mom never lets me any more, because she's a bitch.) sits on top of the clothes washer and now my mom put my bowl of our usual food (which Pig can't eat anymore) right next to it, rather than having my water in one place and my food in another place like it was before.

So, now I take a few laps of water, then turn my head very gentlemanly-like and I eat a few bits of food, then turn my head again and drink some more is a very civilized way to dine.

Unlike that Pig who thinks his food bits are wee hockey pucks and he takes them out of his bowl and bats them all around the apartment before he eats them. And, he's always sticking his face into his water and then snorting it out dramatically because it goes up his nose. He says this is because he doesn't have whiskers so it's hard for him to tell the level of water in his bowl.

I say he's just a slob.

Manners. That boy needs to read Letitia.



Friday, February 6, 2009

Swim At Your Own Risk


It's Grover.

Listen, if you don't want anyone scratching holes in your hand-made gray hooded sweater, I suggest you not leave it hanging over the back of a dining room chair where it looks suspiciously like Something That Is Begging To Be Unraveled.

It's like how if you're on a surfboard out in the ocean and a shark bites you, you have to accept the shark was not trying to eat you; the attack wasn't personal to you at all...the shark was simply doing what nature taught him to do, and that is to try and eat what he thought was a seal.

Not the shark's fault that you looked like a seal, right?

And not the cat's fault that the sweater looked like Something That Is Begging To Be Unraveled.

Get it?



P.S. Piggy did it.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Stinky Goodness In Da House


It's Grover. Listen, yesterday my mom brought home our new cat food. Well, really, it's Piggy's new "experimental" food but I get to eat it, too, since no one could stop me anyway. So my mom opened the bag of Hill's Prescription Duck and Green Pea Formula and nearly fell over because she said it STINKS!

Piggy was sleeping under the comforter in the bedroom, but I was waiting not so patiently in the kitchen to taste this new food, and she was taking her sweet time.

First, she stuck her nose near the bag and made an ugly face. Then she read the bag. Then she stuck her nose near the bag again and then read the bag again and then she looked at me and said "OK, now I understand why the other blogging cats call their food Stinky Goodness."

I really wanted to try it, so I rubbed against the bag and licked her hand and made my eyes real big and tilted my head a bit to look extra-specially cute. It didn't work. She opened the bag AGAIN and sniffed it AGAIN and said, "This smells VERY wrong..."

It smelled damned good to me, but then she walked around the kitchen sniffing things - the garbage bag, the sink - I don't think she believed the delicious scent wafting from the cat food bag was really the cat food.

"Well," she said, "this offends me. But OK...."

She leaned back, poured some into our bowl (which is really a big abalone shell) and then, I am still so insulted by this I can barely type, and then....she carried it into the bedroom and put our new delicacy in front of Pig, whose wrinkly pink head was sticking out from under the comforter! Oh my gosh, as if he weren't already a spoiled baby, now he gets dinner in bed, too? WHAT?!?!

I know my mom does not play favorites (even though I myself have never received dinner in bed, harrumph), so I did not show her my indignation and instead jumped up on the bed and started gobbling our duck and pea flavored food. And it was DELICIOUS. Pig didn't eat too much of it, but that may be because I kept pushing his face away from the bowl because it was THAT good and I didn't want to share even though I know it's supposed to be for him because he's got The Sickness Of Unknown Origin.

And then, can you believe it, my mom picked me up and brought me to the kitchen and put me up on the fridge to eat our boring old food...well, OK, it's delicious, too, but variety is the spice of life. I ate my old food, but grudgingly. Then she went and got the new food from the bedroom and brought our bowl back to the kitchen and Piggy followed her and we both ate more of the Stinky Goodness. But Piggy didn't eat too much and I'm not sure if he liked it or not.

I love it. Rock on, Stinky Goodness!



P.S. This is Piggy. Hi. I like the food. I got up three times last night to eat some and each time when I'd come back to bed and breathe on my mom's face she'd say, "Oh my god, what died in here?!" and I was very insulted. She explained that, to her, my new food smells like Something Very Wrong and now my breathe smells like Something Very Wrong, too. Harrumph.

P.P.S. This morning, mom said the whole kitchen, where our food bowl is, smells like Something Very Wrong, too. But me and Grover don't smell it. Luv, Piggy

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Reason


It's Grover. Listen, there is a reason I don't cover my poop in the litter box, OK? And the reason is because of the phrase, "He thinks his shit don't stink." Well, yeah, exactly.

I'm smart and cute and funny and acrobatic and, also, I'm going to be 12 this year so I know a thing or two about a thing or two, not like big, fat Pig who is only going to be 7 this year and who thinks licking the inside of the armoire is a hobby.

But that Pig, he just cannot leave my poop alone in the box. Oh, no. He has to jump right in there and make a big honking show about covering it up. Like he's all clean and neat or something...and I know he's not because sometimes in the summer his skin is oily between baths and he leaves marks on stuff and usually in the winter he is flaky and leaves snow wherever he was sleeping and even on your clothes if you pick him up.

So this is not an issue of hygiene by any means. This is, I believe, an issue of dominance. And Piggy thinks he is the boss of me because he weighs three times what I weigh and because he's just freakin' GIANT and because he's PINK (which he thinks makes him super-special), whereas I am lean and svelte. and have wooly fur like a lamb.

And the reason I want you to know this is because it explains why Pig has bite marks on his neck this morning.




P.S. Piggy said to tell you he is not only not afraid of me, but that he is going to kick my butt as soon as I publish this post.

P.P.S. To that I say, BRING IT, PIG!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009



It's Piggers.

Well, we don't know too much more but we have blood test results from yesterday. We know that some things stayed exactly the same as they were on my blood work of January 24th, and some things are more elevated.

After yet another consult with a whole Troupe o' Needle-Waving Vets, we are all baffled.

What was decided is that, based upon the fact I am acting like my usual crazy self, not sick in any way, and even though my tests indicate some massive infection and cell weirdness and I'm losing weight and my lympnodes are enlarged, we are going to try something different and switch my food again; this time to a very hypo-allergenic kind.

I will be allowed to eat as much as I want (WAHOO!). The vet told my mom to watch me very carefully (as if she was not ALREADY driving me crazy with that one) and we have to go back to the vet for a weigh-in (sort of like Weight Watchers, but in reverse) and more blood work.

Mom goes to the vet now to pick up my new food. It is duck flavored! I've never had duck before but the vet said it is delicious (so he's told) and that the Hill's company even has a return policy because they are so sure I will like it. If I don't like it they will take it back and we will try another flavor - either rabbit or venison. When the vet asked my mom to choose a flavor she said, " he can have Thumper, Bambi or Donald?" And the vet laughed and said that he's never known a cat to turn down duck, so Donald it is.

Grover will be so jealous. Or so I thought. Apparently, we will both be eating this food for a while since we like to eat from the same bowl. Well, that is not exactly true because my mom and Grover are sneaky and think they are fooling me, but I saw that Grover has his own special bowl of food up on top of the refrigerator where I can't reach it. So I'm guessing he'll have our usual delicious food up there and then he'll be eating my duck flavored food down here, too. Harrumph.

I'm excited to be able to eat and eat and eat and not get called a fattie for it!

Thank you for your continued prayers and support and good wishes! We love you all!



P.S. Hi. This is Grover. I will still call Piggy a fattie. Because he is. And I hope he stays that way.

P.P.S. Shhh...please don't tell Piggy, but I am worried about him. I hope the vets all know what they are doing. Mom has confidence they do...but I don't. :(

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting


It's Piggy. Listen, we can't sleep. All of us are up at 3:57 a.m. We're going to try and get some sleep now but we are anxious to hear from the vet's office tomorrow, well, later today I guess, to tell us what the blood work says and to find out if my bone marrow has stopped putting out the crazy things it's putting out.

Mostly, we just want to know what is happening to me.

Mom says she finds it VERY hard to accept anything is wrong with me because I am acting so normal. If I didn't have the vagal vasal episode I would not have even gone to the vet. The vet said he understands why she thinks I'm not really sick, but that sometimes cats don't act sick when they are sick...and the blood tests, and my big lymph nodes and my weight loss indicate that something is happening so that is why we keep trying to find out.

Well, mom says harrumph and I do, too, and so does Grover because he was sleeping nicely and we woke him up to have a cuddle-fest but he didn't want me to be part of it because he says I still smell funny.

And now we are all going to go back to bed and try to sleep a little, because mom has to get up for work in two hours. Hopefully, later, we'll have some answers. I'll let you know.

Thank you, again, for all your good wishes and emails and love. We appreciate it!



P.S. Grover said to tell you he hopes your moms are not reading this right now at 4 a.m. or else it means they can't sleep either. He said to tell them to have some Sleepy Time Extra tea and try to sleep again. That's what our mom just did.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Thank you, everyone!


It's Pig and I want to give you an update.

First of all, we are so touched from your emails and comments and all the good wishes and information. It means so much to us! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

We still do not know what (if anything) is wrong with me, but after nearly being starved to death, the ultrasound, thank goodness, showed nothing amiss!

Well, it did show one embarrassing thing that I cannot believe they even spoke about in front of me. They said I had solid poop in my colon, which was good news because I've had nothing but loose poops for over a month. The vet thought maybe the change of food is working on the diarrhea, which is still (besides the blood results and enlarged lymph nodes) my only symptom.

However, the vet said I have one more symptom...I have lost another 7 ounces since my 10:30 a.m. vet appointment on Saturday (2 days ago). And at that appointment I had already lost 8 ounces since my appointment just a week before that.

So, after another pow-wow with other vets, they forced me to have yet another blood test to see if things are going back to normal or getting worse.

Starve me, insult me by making my mom sign a piece of paper indicating I will be shaved for the ultrasound (as if!), push some weird thing against my belly and peek at my insides, talk about my poop in front of me AND stick another needle in me? Harrumph.

This time, I did my requisite screaming and fussing, but not so strongly as before because. obviously, my ruckus-making is not stopping them from doing what they want to do to me. No bother, I am saving my energy for when I really need to kick butt.

So, I don't know what else to say except we are all so grateful for your thoughts and prayers and we hope tomorrow brings some news that helps put an end to this nonsensical nonsense.

And now I am going to take a nap in my cat carrier. My blue plaid blanket is in there and it's very comfy. I figure since I'm always in there lately anyway, I might as well be all ready for the next trip to the vet.



P.S. Oh! One good thing - the vet said that since I am losing weight, even though I'm still big-boned (ahem), I can have as much food as I want now! I couldn't believe my ears (and believe me, my ears are BIG)! Yes! I can eat everything I want! Wahoo! This is better than winning the lottery! This is better than Grover deciding to move in with someone else's family! This is really good!

P.P.S. Shhh...I don't really want Grover to move, but I do want him to stop hissing at me. He's been very nasty to me since I got home from the vet's today.

P.P.P.S. Do I smell?

P.P.P.P.S. This is Grover. Yes, Piggy, you smell.

Monday's Pig.

Please. I beg of you. SEND FOOD! I have had nothing to eat since last night. I have been scratching at the cat food bag all morning and my mom keeps talking to me in a sweet voice, "No, Pig. I'm sorry, Pig. You'll have lots of food and treats after the test." Blah blah blah. No food? Is she kidding me? I didn't really think she'd go through with this!

I kept getting out of bed last night to see if there was any food there. There was not.

So, please send food! I'm going to take money out of her wallet and I will pay you!

Sent it to:

Piggy's House (Oh, shut UP, Grover! It is NOT Grover's House!)
New York City

Hurry! And tell the delivery man not to ring the buzzer - we'll come down and let you in!



P.S. Grover said to tell you that he wants to go to the vet with me this morning but mom told him he had to stay home.

P.P.S. We are both pissed at the mom today. Harrumph.