Monday, March 16, 2009

Frankenpiggy!

Smiley bandage over IV spot.

Hi:

It's Grover. Listen, there is a reason I want nothing to do with Pig and it's not because I'm being mean, contrary to popular belief.

See, first of all, he came home from the vet on Friday smelling like poops. I know my mom washed his super-special blanket but she did not give PIG a bath and HE still smells like poop, in my humble opinion. I know she said he does not. But he does. My little black nose is far more sensitive than hers.

The truth is, he SCARES me. He is Frankenpiggy, see for yourself.

Three little stitches for one little Piggy.

My mom is trying to hide the fact he's now a Monster by putting him in a lame red turtleneck as if he were some kind of beatnik. What's next? A beret, Daddy O'? I am not fooled. He's a stinky cat. But not THAT kind of cat.

He is feeling particularly unwell (an understatement, sadly) since Saturday, so I will not be actively mean to him (of course!), but I also do not want him even LOOKING at me because he gives me the stink eye, literally, and then I hiss at him and then I get yelled at. Me. Little cute woolly Grover. Little dumpling-scented Grover. Yes. Me who doesn't stink. Me who has enough self-respect to know cats do NOT wear clothes. Me who sits on the edge of the tub when my mom takes a bath to make sure she's OK and to lick water off her knees. Me who sleeps next to my mom's head every night to keep Monsters at bay. Wee, good HEALTHY Grover. ME! And I get yelled at? AND she brings Monsters to bed now?

Bitch, please.

And she wonders why I hiss at that stinky pink thing? Sheesh.

We are still waiting for the results of Piggy's bone marrow test but so far we know that he has severe Inflammatory Bowel Disease, which I think is just a ploy so he can have Pill Pockets twice a day, which he usually loves. Tonight though, he puked them up ten minutes after taking his first dose of Prednisolone and scared the shit out of all of us. Mom waited a while and gave him another dose, but without Pill Pockets.

Still, I am not fooled, because he's never acted SICK ever (until they took too many bits of him on Friday - harrumph!), so I think he is in cahoots with the vet to empty mom's wallet and to get my mom to feel all badly for him and buy the Pill Pockets so he can have super-special treats to go along with his super-special pink skin and his super-special blue plaid blanket and his super-special freaking TURTLENECK, for gosh's sake.

Am I the ONLY sane one in this household? Am I?

That was rhetorical.

If a tree falls in the forest...yes, Pig would STILL stink.

Harrumph.

Luv,

Grover.

P.S. Shhhh...this post is for my mom and Piggy's benefit so they think I'm my usual snarky self because I do NOT want my mom or Piggy to know that it makes me very upset to see Piggy feeling so awful. I even snuggled him all day when no one was home to see me. And when my mom came home, I quickly jumped up and told her Piggy was being all drama and that he looked really super-dumb in his freaking TURTLENECK. What a drag, man.

P.P.S. Piggy is asleep, yes, STILL in his turtleneck (!) on my mom's lap. So far he has not puked up again since she gave him another dose of pills, and we are glad the first 10 mg of drugs are running through his system to help him get better.

P.P.S. I want to sit in my mom's lap, too. Harrumph. Luv, Grover

14 comments:

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

FrankiePiggy? We think he is one brave poopykitty, and we know you are just trying to play toughguy, Grover.

You had Teri snorting Gin&Tonic out her nose, though and she said you should be a cattalkradio host! You ar snarky but funny.

Hey, and we hear you drink dirty bath water!

mister jeter harris, hizself said...

grover,
he scared da wut owt uv u?
i know wut it'z like to smell sumthin verree gross (after all ... dere iz dat kitten joba) but i think yer bein nice to piggy becuz yer sumwut wurried yerself. franklee ... we're all a bit wurried an hope da little pigster getz better an better.
an i meen it.
da end.
luv--yer frend--jh

The Meezers said...

Frankenpiggy! hee hee. Oh Piggy, we's sorry you puked up your pills. maybe it's the anes.... anesteesia? we is purring like crazy for you

The Island Cats said...

Grover...we know you're not real happy with stinky Piggy right now, but we sure hope Piggy feels better...

Kaz's Cats said...

Grover, you're doing a good job looking after Piggy, even if you're trying to hide it. We're sorry that he puked up the Prednisolene the first time, but we're glad that he kept some down. It should help him feel better. We're gonna keep on purring and purraying for him to keep on getting better,

{{{hugs}}}

Gypsy & Tasha

Annie said...

Oh, I hope Piggy is well soon and that they figure it all out, Love to grover and Siri too!

PinkynAsh said...

Aww Grover, it's ok to cuddle Piggy, and look after him. We're so sorry that he is sick, and do hope he starts to feel better. It's scary when a friend is sick. We'll be purring and praying for both of you.I know cats aren't supposed to like wearing clothes, but it's ok every now and then to make folks smile.

-Ash

Junior and Orion said...

Oh goodness Grover......you will get your turn in your Moms lap! And we don't think Pig looks Frankenpiggy at all.

Elenka said...

Grover, You are just tooooo much! Be nice, now. Remember, someday, you may stink of something. And you will need Piggy to be nice to you, even in your blog.
But, I'm glad you got it all out of your system.
I, too, have to live with another one of our species. She is from Siam, or so she says. We don't have to wear sweaters around here, turtleneck or not. But I understand why Piggy has to. It's a medical thing, so lay off of him.
OK, now I have to go find the Siamese and make sure she's not having too much fun.
Luv, Molly (pictured above)

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Grover, We think you care about Piggy, but you don't want him to know. Snuggle him and keep an eye on him -- because you care.

We hope he gets to feeling better soon.

Daisy said...

Grover, I knew that you are a good and sweet brother to Piggy, even if you do not like to show it to the world. Maybe if you groom Piggy all over, he will not smell poopy any more.

Piggy, I hopes you feel better soon! And no more bomiting!

Karen Jo said...

Grover, I know that you really love Piggy, no matter what you say. Ok, he smells gross now, but that will get better. Piggy, I hope and pray that you will feel better soon.

Shana said...

Grover, I think mew're really quite handsome and a great guy 'n' all, but PLEASE don't be such a Crankenstein toward Piggy when he's not feeling up to purr.

For the record, mew would be DEVASTATING in a turtleneck.

Elenka said...

Hey, Grover, I've been thinking about Piggy...I'm not that familiar with Sphynx's....so I looked it up on Wkipedia. (Not so easy, with no thumbs) I have a question for you.
Shouldn't Piggy be wearing a sweater all the time???
I mean, you know, with no fur and all that.
Molly the tiger kitty.