How To Spend A Rainy Day

Curl up with your best friend...or at least with someone who occasionally allows you to snuggle with him, and call it a day.

The Price of Laziness

This is why I should unpack groceries as soon as I return home; otherwise, a certain pink pig will make a bed of the unopened bag of chocolate tortilla chips and turn them into a bag of chocolate tortilla chip crumbs. Harrumph.

Satan called, he wants his weather back...

Hot as you-know-where here in NYC. Grover chooses to relax in the air-conditioned bedroom, but the silly Pink Pig refuses to stay in the cool and splays himself out like this on my un-air-conditioned office floor.

He slays me.

You Are Beautiful

Our mom has a message for y'all. Because you're beautiful, you know?

OXO

Grover and Piggy and Allison

Sunshine...On the Kitchen Floor...Makes Us Happy...

Grover, this is why no one believes you when you say you hate Piggy. Whole rooms of the tree house flood with sunlight, yet you and Piggy both squish into one small patch of it. Hmmm...

P.S. Hi. It's Grover. Listen. I was there FIRST! Harrumph. Love, Grover

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I Want It Now

Piggy woke me up at 3:45 this morning wanting his wet food. I've learned that it's easier to just get up and feed him so he shuts the fuck up and I can get back to sleep. My strategy of 'ignoring' (IMPOSSIBLE) him until I am ready to wake up, results only in my laying there listening to him howl as I stew and wish harder and harder that he'd shut the fuck up. He doesn't, and this undoubtedly leads to me screaming at him to shut the fuck up, which results in him screaming back at me in a way that sounds strikingly similar to, "BITCH, GET UP AND FEED ME!"

So, 3:45, fine. You want breakfast, stinky Pig? You got it.

Problem is, when his regularly scheduled wet food time arrived a few hours later, he expected to receive some more.

It took him about 20 minutes of me milling around the kitchen not opening another can of wet food before he realized a second breakfast was not forthcoming.

Mind you, he has dry food available 24/7. Eventually, he got the hint and began to eat it, very slowly, very begrudgingly, sitting up, tail swishing, glaring at me after every bite to make sure I sensed his annoyance.

He is so lucky that he's cute.

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.

Lost and Found

Couldn't find Piggy for an hour. Then I did...sleeping in a lampshade in the storage area. I wonder if this is the feline equivalent to dancing around with a lampshade on one's head...

Harrumph

Oh sure, they can wake me up at 5am every day for wet food, but god forbid I want to kiss them when they are napping.

What is Love?

It's Raining, It's Purring...

The boyz know the best way to spend a rainy day.

Meanwhile, I'm building an ark...

Vito's Legacy

Comforter + Grandma Pants = Happy Boyz

Love Is Blind

Grover has a bit of a shoe fetish these days...

A Day In the Life of Grover

This is my bag. Over the past 23 minutes, I have molded it exactly the way I want it. It is mine. I love my bag! Ahh....my BAG! Uh oh, I have to go to the bathroom. Where is that stinky Pig? Oh, he's in the bedroom. OK. Good. Be right back.

Oh hello, what's this? A new bed? It's very comfortable. Ah, my new favorite thing!

Oh yeah? I'll show you whose bag this is!

I said, GET OFF MY BAG, CASSEROLE-FACE!

Mom! Stop taking pictures and get the little creep off my bag!

Like I said. MINE. Uh oh, what's that sound? I must go investigate. Piggy, if you come near this bag, I am going to tell everyone how you had to have your second bath of the week because you got your own poop all over your back legs and it was on your face, too!

Harrumph.

Exactly.

Hours Later...

Harrumph.

Piggy's Rules of Life #4

Take advantage of every opportunity to show your bits.

Piggy's Rules of Life #3

Hi:

It's Piggy. Rule #3....JAMES IS MINE!

Love,

Piggy

P.S. Hi. It's Grover. Listen. Wrong! Wrong, I say, wrong! He's MINE!

Piggy's Rules of Life #2

Hi:

It's Grover. Listen, if you leave any article of clothing on the floor, Piggy believes you put it there for his comfort, and will sleep on it.

I, of course, believe nothing he does or says to be true unless I test it out for myself, because he is prone to immature behavior like trying to look especially cute and comfy to entice me to snuggle up to him.

I will not be fooled by his fakery!

Love,

Grover

P.S. Alright, alright! Piggy was right....James' sweatpants are very comfortable. There. I said it. Now go away. We're trying to sleep here.

Piggy's Rules of Life #1

Hi:

It's Grover. Listen, this week I will share with you some of Piggy's Rules of Life, not all of which are original, as evidenced above of Piggy drinking my mom's water from her glass.

I DO THAT! HE DIDN'T MAKE THAT UP, THE LITTLE COPY PIG!

Harrumph.

Anyway, so that's Piggy's Rule of Life #1. Any glass of water you see about the house is yours. Feel free to quaff.

Even if it's really MY rule, I will allow Piggy to use it, too.

Because then he will get yelled at for it just like I do, and I do so enjoy when someone besides me gets yelled at.

Love,

Grover

Stop Staring

There's a heat pole in this corner of the bathroom. Piggy spends much of his day huddled up to it.

And he doesn't appreciate Peeping Toms.

Two to a Cell

Hi:

It's Grover. Listen, I'm not snuggling Piggy or anything so don't get the wrong idea. It's just that the floor in this corner gets nice and warm from the heat system.

Really.

It's not like I am suddenly fond of 'He of the Potato-Mushroom Casserole Aroma' pressed against me or anything.

Really.

Love,

Grover

P.S. Burp. Mom better start lockin' up these bottles o' booze or next thing ya know me and Piggy will be makin' out...

Gone But Not Forgotten, Unfortunately

Hi:

It's Grover. Listen, when my mom was in the shower and I was sleeping very snug and quiet and GOOD in her bed on her pillow, Piggy came into the bedroom and stole my mom's locket and was batting it around like it was a mouse.

She got out of the shower and heard him doing Something He Should Not Be Doing and went into the kitchen to see the above. By the way, that's the locket in which she keeps a few bits of Vito's ashes.Damn, I thought we'd gotten rid of the little interloper! But no, he lives on in infamy.

Sigh.

Love,

Grover