Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Separate But Equal

The motto in our house is "Separate But Equal" and in this case it means that the canine lives in the front three rooms and the felines live in the back three rooms, but we are all loved equally.

We didn't always have to live separately, but then The Incident Of Which We Shall Not Speak occurred and mom and dad decided it was not safe to keep us together.

Grover and I like to think of it as Siri being banished because he's a big stupid dog with big stupid teeth, but when no one is home, we sit on one side of the door that divides our space from his space and he sits on his side and tells us that we are the ones being banished, not him. And he tells us that we better not try to touch his food again. And he tells us that if we try to sneak into his space he will eat us.

OK, he doesn't say these things to Grover. He LIKES Grover. He doesn't like me. I don't like him either and that is why whenever I see him I try to attack him. And that is why he's banished. But he insists WE are banished.

Sometimes we believe him. Like the past two nights. Because he got to sleep in the bedroom with our parents and the bedroom is in OUR part of the apartment! We did NOT say he could go in there.

We slept outside the bedroom door all night and we could hear him in there snoring along with our dad and let me tell you, 'pissed off' does not even begin to express what Grover and I are feeling right now.

We are contemplating a proper punishment for not only our mom and dad, but for Siri, too.

I don't know who the heck he thinks he is, but if he sleeps in our bedroom again tonight, this means war!

This picture was taken way back before All Hell Broke Loose.

This gives you somewhat of a hint as to why The Incident of Which We Shall Not Speak occurred.

OK, one more hint, you didn't think a dog would tolerate getting hit in the face by a cat, would you?

OK, just one more hint...did you know that if a dog tries to bite you because you kept hitting him in the head and charging him and hissing at him, and your mom jumps between you and the dog, and she gets bit really hard and gets a bone infection that lasts for months it means the dog gets banished?

Well let this be a warning to all dogs. Do NOT mess with the cats. And do NOT bite the mom!

And stay out of our bedroom, too! This means YOU, Siri!

16 comments:

Gattina said...

Lovely story ! But must have been quite a big war, that your poor mum was bitten so hard ! You look like my friend Dragonhaert, do you know him ? I am owned by four cats and there are a lot of stories about them !

Dragonheart said...

Yikes! I can see why your mom keeps you and the dog separate now. Not fair that the woofie got to sleep in the bedroom last night! Everyone knows that we Sphynx need to be kept warm because we don't have fur, so we need to sleep in the human bedroom!

I enjoyed your story. :) You look like a real hunter ready to pounce in the photo. :)

Forty Paws said...

Bad woofie. No gud woofie. We hopes u ken sleep in the bed wid yur beans tonite.
Git dat woofie.
Luf, Us

ArtsyCatsy said...

Thank you for visiting and sending me such a nice compliment. But trust me, they don't call me catankerous Callie for nothing! My sweetness is often punctuated with sudden scratch-your-eyes-out mood swings. I think I have bipolarcat disorder.

Callie the Crabbycat,
ArtsyCatsy

Kelly Cat said...

LPP, how's the saying go? "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall catch hell from both sides..." Unfortunately, your mom really lived that statement.

Name: Mr. Hendrix said...

aaaaaaw, poor Siri. I must say, although brave of you to bonk him, it wasn't very nice. It sounds like your beans made a good compromise.
I can tell you this, even daddy can't kick me outta the bed so no silly woofie would!!!! Hope you get good snuggles tonight!

Kaze, Latte, or Chase said...

Oh wow...that sounds like a BAD incident indeed! You are a great story teller, I really enjoyed reading this. I think I'd blame the humans over Siri for the bedroom issue, they are the ones who shut the doors.

Kaze

Kimo & Sabi said...

Who wants to hang our where the beans snore?! Not us! Sometimes Mommakitty can't even stand Daddykitty's snoring!

Icon Baxter Bentley said...

that picture speaks a thousand words! I can just hear it now... big STOOPID doggie grin "Hey, wats goin on, bark?" and Piglet being all stealth-like "c'mon, just a littlllllle bit closerrr.... BAM! meow!"

Junior said...

That is some story! Meowm and I are both glad that didn't happen to us! We hope that you at least were warm and got some extra treats for being left out of the beans warm bed!

Daisy said...

WOW! That is a very, very, very interesting story! I think it was right of you to keep Siri in line. It is too bad that an accident happened though. I am glad yer Mommie isall right.

THE ZOO said...

wes has an incident like that. one owr woofies Gus came to live here after us (not afore like Malcolm & Selena RIP) and we didnt know not to get in front of him while hes eating an so he snapped at us. Salem still bonks him on the hed when she wants (but shes alpha kitty). gus was firmly expressed to that if he wanted to live here he has to get along. so he still growls if we get too close but the peeps move us away (cause we do it to irritate him on purpose) but he knows not to fight wiff anybody. hes all smart and stuff. and meoma hand had a hole bit fru it once in a dog fite at owr house. it didnt get infected but she had to go to the hospital. and sissy heels got bit several times afore gus knew not to fite....Rocky

Lux said...

That is some bedtime story for me to read - now I'll have nightmares! I'm glad your mom's okay now!

Faz the Cat said...

It must be funny having to share your house with a big dog. I can see why you guys want to stay in your half just in case he gets a bit rough when he's playing. I like sleeping on the bed at night so I wouldn't be happy if a dog was taking my place. FAZ

Carol said...

Nice motto n a lovely family.

And hey, have a look at this pet ecards

ArtsyCatsy said...

Hi, Little One! We just dropped by to tell you before it goes up on the Cat Blogosphere that we're having a special benefit for Mu Shue and his Mama Laura, and we'd love to see you there!

Rocky & the ArtsyCatsy staff