Mom wanted to know why I kept sticking my paw under the front door.

So, she opened the door to see what was out there and I dove out so freaking fast she didn't even have time to stop me.

The reason I've been sticking my paw under the door is there is a GIRL CAT out there and she's been tormenting me for DAYS!

I jumped on her, hard, all 23 pounds of me - and I started to pummel her and mom screamed at me and had to pull me off.

Then I got yelled at and tossed back into the house while mom went to make sure the girl cat was OK.

Mom said, "How can a cat with no fur who couldn't even survive outside and loves to snuggle be so freaking mean?"

I'm not mean. I'm just territorial.

Very.

And if that girl cat knows what is good for her, she won't be coming 'round my door no more.

Because I will kick her ass again.

Serious.