Thursday, April 2, 2009

In Which Pig Finally Does What He Is Told

Hi:

It's Grover. Listen. I wanted to tell you that Piggy must be feeling better because he's being all nosy and stuff, like when our mom was cleaning out under the kitchen sink and he sneaked in there and tried to steal a Brillo pad. Um, Pig? Metal and soap? Not such a good idea, K? Thanks.

He also has started gallumping on me again, but his Powers of Gallump are weakened and the Reign of Grover is growing stronger.

Here is a picture of Piggy looking at birds on the fire escape. You can see he is developing a bit of waist in an attempt to be svelte like me. However, um, I feel I should make a confession.

Since I've been eating our delicious gloppy food every day, I seem to be developing a bit of a paunch. So today my mom only gave me a wee plop of the glop and I was not pleased, especially since Pig gets to eat a whole lot of it. He's supposed to eat a can a day but he is still eating less than half a can a day, supplemented with dry food, which he loves. What kind of cat loves dry food more than wet food? Further proof he is daft.

He has been sleeping a lot on his super-special blue plaid blanket, but not on mom's bed (where I like to sleep), which thrills me to no end. He is instead sleeping on the couch where he likes to loll about like a walrus, cultivating the scent of a potato-mushroom casserole and exposing his pink belly for our mom to kiss. Did you just throw up a little, because I did.

Also, to add insult to injury, when my mom brings Pig a little dish of wet food to his super-special blue plaid blanket, he'll eat it with gusto but when she leaves it in the kitchen for him, he turns his nose up and walks away. Can you say spoiled brat? Indeed.

Last night I had a talk with him about that and told him if he doesn't start eating his food in the kitchen like I have to do I am seriously going to kick his butt and I will withhold my snuggles even when no one is around to bear witness.

So this morning he DID eat his wet food in the kitchen. And when our mom leaves for work I will climb next to the weird, squishy thing and give him just a little love. But just a little.

Luv,

Grover

P.S. Thank you for your comments! I will catch up very soon once my mom stays off the freaking computer for a change and gives me time to compose my thoughts!

P.P.S. Look what Teri found!!!!! Shhh...don't tell my mom but I borrowed, ahem, her credit card to buy this for Piggy as a Get Well present. I was going to buy him the XL size as a joke, but decided that would be a bit rude since he has lost 4 pounds. So I got him the Medium instead. Let no one say I am not kind and generous to Piggy. OK, well, let no one say I am not generous then.

20 comments:

PinkynAsh said...

Glad to hear your little talk with Piggy worked, and that he is eating in the kitchen too. Be sure to snuggle and sneak in some love when no one is watching.

The Meezers said...

hey Piggy - that's a great sweater you haf there. Personally, I like crunchies better than stinky goodness, but I also like begetables too. - Sammy

Grover - seriously, you need to just put Piggy back in his place so that he's not acting all spoiled. and by "talk to him" do you mean "rassled the living poo out of him until he gave up and screamed UNCLE and agreed to do everything you asked?" - Miles and Billy

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

Oh Grover...you try so hard to be like Oscar the Grouch...and then you do something nice like getting Pig a gift...Teri wanted to buy it for him but she is real low on green papers cuz she keeps buying girly cat clothes for Prez Coco...who is getting rounder with only 2 weeks to go til her babies arrive, so maybe Kiki will model the new outfits...silly mommies!

We loved the bird watchin' photo of Pig, especially as we too can see his waistline, cute wrinkly rump and drumstick thighs!

Soon things will be even and you will probably both be eatin' in the kitchen...and you know, he'll always smell like a mushroom casserole...would you prefer tuna noodle bake?

Daisy said...

That Little Piggy t-shirt is perfect! I like dry crunchies better than Stinky Goodness, but Harley likes them both equally. But we only get crunchies with our evening foods. I'm glad to hear that Piggy is doing well and you are doing a good job looking after him!

Elin~ said...

Good Piggy!

xxxx

Junior and Orion said...

That is a very sweet gift you are getting for Piggy. We are glad that your talk helped him to eat a bit more....off the couch. We also hope he keeps eating better...off the couch.

Meowm says she thinks Piggy looks very handsome in his sweater.

A Few Good Cats said...

Gee Grover, you can't really blame Piggy for wanting to be spoiled, because all cats *should* be properly spoiled and loved. It's why humans are on this earth, y'know? Anyway, your human mom loves you very much, too. (And we really know you love Piggy)

Cliff and Olivia said...

First of all, Piggy looks so sweet looking at the birds. And Grover, it's so nice of you to buy that T-shirt - I bet he'll love it. Regarding food: Olivia prefers dry food and I (naturally) prefer wet - who wouldn't.

Cliff

The Creek Cats said...

We just love that Piggy shirt! We can't wait to see Piggy model it for us! Grover you are so sweet to buy it for him to cheer him up!!

Sparky said...

Be quiet Grover! I like dry food better than wet food too! Yum!

--Marley

Poppy Q said...

Thats a great photo of Piggy birdie watching. Food in bed, awesome!!

mister jeter harris, hizself said...

wow grover. u saved $4 on yer gift to piggy. dat'z smart shoppin.
i'm glad da pig iz feelin sumwut better. i havta admit ... i like takin mi dinner upstarez ... but dat'z becuz i hate dat kitten joba an i don't like to be in da same room wid him.
giv da pig sum luv man. do az i say ... not az i do (re: joba)
luv--yer grate frend--jh

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Awwwwww. You just don't want to say it but you love your brother Piggy.

Sparky said...

What's new with you guys? We want an update!

The Meezers said...

Hey Pinky and Grover- how is you doing?

Elenka said...

Happy Easter, little pink pig and Grover. I hope all is well.

mister jeter harris, hizself said...

ware ar u?
jus wunderin.
luv--jh

The Meezers said...

we's just wondering how you are doing!

The Meezers said...

Hey Piggy and Grover - how are you?

mister jeter harris, hizself said...

hello?