Brotherly Love

Hi.

It's Grover.

Listen, I love my little brother, Pig. I do.

Even though he always bothers me and tries to pounce on me the moment I step from the litter box.

Even though he's GIANT and smells like mushrooms and potatoes.

Even though he likes to annoy me so much I have to leave the room and then he curls up in my warm spot.

Even though I still don't think he's really a cat.

Even though he never leaves the litter box without a dirty butt and mom always has to wipe him down with baby-wipes.

Even though he likes to climb into plastic bags and sleep.

Even though he licks everything and makes it soggy.

Even though he likes to play Big Pink Vampire and tries to bite my neck.

Even though one time mom was cleaning gunk out of his eyes and he licked it off the tissue and ate it before mom could stop him, and mom and I nearly threw up.

Even though he copies every thing I do and then pretends it's me who is copying him.

Even though he makes a lot of noise when he runs.

Even though he writes lies about me here for everyone to see.

Even though he has no whiskers except for one teeny tiny little thing I think might just perhaps be a whisker. Sort of.

Even though he has to take baths.

And, most importantly, even though I was so happy being an only-child before his bald, weird, stupid ass entered into the picture.

So, like I was saying, I do love my little brother, Pig.

Even when he yawns while the sun is blazing through his ears and he looks like this.


Even though it's very hard to love something that looks like that, I still do.

Love,

Grover

Go Away, Flu

It's a very good thing cats can't get the flu because our mom has been sick in bed for 11 days. I swear I heard her pray for death. That was a few days ago though, and I think she's feeling a bit better now.

Grover has been sleeping with her all day and night but I only pop in for visits a few times a day and then go sleep on the bed in the studio. She moves around too much, coughing and trying to get comfortable, then sitting up for sips of water and blowing her nose and more coughing and even moaning! Can you say DRAMA QUEEN? I'm sorry, I love my mom but I really don't like to be bothered that much when I'm trying to sleep and she makes it very hard to get comfortable against her belly if she keeps tossing about.

This morning she actually got out of bed, came to say hi to me and kiss me on my most kissable parts and then went to make herself some tea. I think this means she's getting better. I hope so. I miss sleeping against her belly but gosh, she's just too annoying right now for me to deal with.

Grover is such a little butt kisser, all snuggled up against her for 11 days, even though she's very annoying when she's sick.

Oh, I forgot to tell you that every day, along with visiting my mom in bed, I visit her when she takes a bath. I stand on the edge of the tub and lean over and lick water from her knees. She thinks this is very cute, and it is. But then, of course, Grover has to try it. He said I got it from him since he has always drunk mom's bath water, but I think he's the copy cat, not me.

Harrumph.