Piggy's Rules of Life #1

Hi:

It's Grover. Listen, this week I will share with you some of Piggy's Rules of Life, not all of which are original, as evidenced above of Piggy drinking my mom's water from her glass.

I DO THAT! HE DIDN'T MAKE THAT UP, THE LITTLE COPY PIG!

Harrumph.

Anyway, so that's Piggy's Rule of Life #1. Any glass of water you see about the house is yours. Feel free to quaff.

Even if it's really MY rule, I will allow Piggy to use it, too.

Because then he will get yelled at for it just like I do, and I do so enjoy when someone besides me gets yelled at.

Love,

Grover

Stop Staring

There's a heat pole in this corner of the bathroom. Piggy spends much of his day huddled up to it.

And he doesn't appreciate Peeping Toms.

Two to a Cell

Hi:

It's Grover. Listen, I'm not snuggling Piggy or anything so don't get the wrong idea. It's just that the floor in this corner gets nice and warm from the heat system.

Really.

It's not like I am suddenly fond of 'He of the Potato-Mushroom Casserole Aroma' pressed against me or anything.

Really.

Love,

Grover

P.S. Burp. Mom better start lockin' up these bottles o' booze or next thing ya know me and Piggy will be makin' out...

Gone But Not Forgotten, Unfortunately

Hi:

It's Grover. Listen, when my mom was in the shower and I was sleeping very snug and quiet and GOOD in her bed on her pillow, Piggy came into the bedroom and stole my mom's locket and was batting it around like it was a mouse.

She got out of the shower and heard him doing Something He Should Not Be Doing and went into the kitchen to see the above. By the way, that's the locket in which she keeps a few bits of Vito's ashes.Damn, I thought we'd gotten rid of the little interloper! But no, he lives on in infamy.

Sigh.

Love,

Grover